Body confidence and comfort is something I haven’t known for about a decade now–ever since entering middle school. Even when I was very thin (almost lanky) I had begun to think to myself I’m so much bigger than all the others girls.

In a way, it was true! I’ve always been taller than most of the women (and usually men) I encounter. But when I thought “bigger”I wasn’t thinking height: I meant weight. I felt so much heavier, wider, fatter than everyone else, and that feeling didn’t go away until recently. In the last two years of high school, I started to feel like a complete stranger in my own skin, inside and out. It had felt like all my old thoughts had come true, and I was just miserable.

This year, I am done with feeling down about myself and my body. I feel so empowered, like I can really get my dream physique, with a completely different perspective on how to view myself. With a blend of fitness and aesthetic goals, my plan for 2023 is simple, sustainable, fun, and perfect for me!

Fitness Goals

1. 3 miles in 30 minutes straight
2. 50 Pushups in a row
3. 1 pull-up {just one because these are so difficult}
4. Middle, left, and right split
5. Consistent Yoga and meditation
6. Comfort and Confidence in my body & Mastery of Myself!

Each of my goals touches on the different areas of fitness–strength, endurance and speed, flexibility, and mental strength. That means I’ll have a variety of different workouts and intensities. Yoga, pilates, resistance band workouts, running, sprinting, dancing, meditation, and getting all my steps will make up my routine.

Consistency, patience, and intention are going to be my pillars for success. I can’t tell you how many times I did stretching videos and gave up because I didn’t drop into a split within a week. And I can’t tell you how many times my mind has raced with insecurities about my shape; with my obsessive mind, to count them all up would probably be in the hundreds of thousands!

I’ve been so embarrassed over the years when guys would comment on my body. In middle school one of them had called my legs “firm” and “strong-looking”, and since I was very insecure and very awkward and did not feel very desired by any of my male classmates, I was completely mortified. Being in college, a few guys have said very sexually charged things to me or about me to others, which is so humiliating when you’re insecure! I am not sexy or attractive, I think to myself, I am a little freak who doesn’t want any part in what you’re saying about me. In a lot of ways when they say things like that, I still feel like that very long and awkward 12-year-old or the very uncomfortable and overweight 18-year-old girl on the inside.

Hey strange guy, it’s not a compliment to say gross things about my body, you’re just freaking me out!

Sammicakes

That’s alright. I’ll accept them as gracefully as I can now. I won’t freak out, since it makes me the weirdo in the end. I won’t hide or run away. People will always have something to say, positive and negative. Sometimes people will call you ugly right to your face and leave laughing emojis on your pictures, sometimes they will shout “Hey, sexy walk!” as you go up the stairs or trap you against a fence and touch you without a second thought or describe all the explicit things they want to do to you in exchange for a hundred dollars (sadly and scarily and funnily enough, all true for me). I’m not going to let other people control my body, and I won’t let the negative and cruel thoughts control me either. Because I know that deep down, they aren’t really mine.

I don’t care just about how nice my body will look, and I also don’t care about running 3 miles in a row. Not on their own. I need both of these mentalities together to have complete mastery of my mind and my body.

Thank you for reading and keeping me accountable. If you have any goals for this year, fitness or otherwise, I would love to hear them!

~ With Love, Sammicakes