memory

“According to a recent study, just as you can’t step in the same river twice, your memories are changed by the act of recalling them, meaning that every memory we have is colored by the times we’ve recollected it before… recalling a memory more often makes that memory less accurate, and that every time you take…

worn out words | poem

thoughts travel without passports or permission; love cannot be contained in the human body, so it now grows in the oak trunk of an endless tree. time threads us together in loose, haphazard seams; dreams contain all my greatest fears and fantasies, so now I plant them in the mulch beneath tall grasses to grow…

Patience and Cheesecake | Saturday Thoughts

Hello and hello! For the people who keep up with my blog, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been a bit absent. I’m nearing the end of my summer college courses, which means lots of prep work for finals and presentations. My mind has been very focused on the more academic side of my life…

Mercy

I’m going to pick them all apart to shreds, to atoms, in my heart, they will always fail in my head they will never enter and in my hand they will forever fall Hold my flowers on your sturdy branches or leave me as a seed to die My love is buried in the roots…

Wicked Beauty of the Only Queen

A moment of recollection: Her humor, her compassion, her intellect, her passion, her love– all of it had once stemmed from her sadness. It guided her perspective and worldview. It led her actions, and it inspired the thoughts she shared aloud with me. That ache of emptiness ascended her to the stars. Now all I…

Jealousy is Futile | Self-love Snippets

Everyone has a quality that I could be jealous of. Who does it serve to hold a burning hate for those I believe are above me because they do not lack what I have convinced myself I do? Who does it serve to diminish myself down to an inferior being? Why should I not instead…

nightache

Dying leaves of the lightest branches fall off the low-lying trees like veils and they slip over of my eyes, so that all I see is scattered nothing and blue blackness in quiet, lonely time I sink to the floor in fear and overwhelming feeling, laying my head in damp earth and shrunken flowers and…

Call to Action, Call to Attention, Call for Affection

The toxins rose above onto the surface of my skin with nowhere to go, my turmoil, my dread, my negativity, my sadness, all from within. And now they mark my face, my body, exposed and evident for all to see. What other choice do I have but to address and repair them to be the…

Legacy of Briar Rose | poem

A thousand spindles A hundred wheels A dozen or so webs An entire century of slow hearts Tell me how does it feel… to be so beautiful and significant that you send your whole word into mournful sleep? Is your soul really so pure, so divine? Is it attainable– could your legacy be attained by…

buried in yourself

Did I ever love at all, if I held onto so much hatred of myself? I thought about it too long; now I don’t want to go. I need to trust my initial instincts. I always end up feeling like I’m not worth it. I always feel like I should make the conscious choice to…

the way you see me in your dreams you must love me

you’re more than a friend oh, it happened again and it’ll keep happening oh, baby you’re more than a friend the nights I don’t take to not think of you you creep into the later morning and then I dream of us two you want to tell me things that make me happy but it’s…

nature of thoughts

Not all thoughts had are spoken. There is no need to. Thoughts are the collectives, the ones that can shape and construct, erode and destroy. They are the foundations of our actions, the foundation of our being. Not all thoughts had are spoken. There is no need to. ~Sammicakes

control

written 9/16/21 “How much control do I have over myself? Am I kidding myself when I say I can control how I’m feeling, what I’m doing, what I am? I hope it’s just a case of overthinking. I don’t want to turn into something I fear.” ~Sammicakes