Hello and hello! For the people who keep up with my blog, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been a bit absent. I’m nearing the end of my summer college courses, which means lots of prep work for finals and presentations. My mind has been very focused on the more academic side of my life rather than my creative writing (I spent all my brain power on writing a pretty morbid research paper on COVID-19 cases), and I’m so excited to get back into the swing of things on this blog and my book once I can have a breather.
Despite all the work, despite the rising pressure nearing its climax, I am in no way unhappy or unhinged. In fact, this week has been a blessing.
Sammicakes hit over 200 followers–a milestone I wanted to hit before the end of the year.
My mother had her birthday yesterday, and I baked her this decadent Snickers Cheesecake between classes.
And on Monday morning I received an email that I had just received a full-ride scholarship to Spelman College.
Ecstatic, jubilant, overjoyed, however I can phrase it, however I try to phrase it, the raw and wordless emotions that are swirling about in my heart and mind are too powerful to logically and sincerely express in writings and distant characters. The connotation is positive, though, and the general status of my mood is pure bliss. Satisfaction is something I’m not really used to feeling, as I have a terrible habit of letting comparisons and doubt ruin any good or great moments I have. This time was different. To be accepted for something that such a small fraction of students in the entire country gets is the matter dreams are made of.
The day before I got my scholarship notification, during my aunt and uncle’s virtual Sunday church service, my mom had told me about the pattern she had realized throughout the course of my life. The trend she had found was that I had endured a lot of strange happenings–like being born with a broken arm and ankles, experiencing bullying for the first time by my first-grade teacher, and having to deal with a racist environment on a sports team–that all ended up working out to my betterment. One big thing I was struggling with recently was if I had made the right financial decision going to Spelman. I was a being of worry and regret, thinking not about my accomplishments but how I could have done more. My mom reminded me to be patient and remain hopeful because there was a blessing to come “tomorrow” (which she said at the time referred to any point in the general future) that would make all this inner anguish makes sense. And like some sort of prophecy, she was right.
Cheesecake. The cheesecake was delicious. It wouldn’t have turned out as well if I had made it last year, maybe even last month. There is a very specific cooking and cooling process to a cheesecake that bakers use in order to prevent cracks. I have not always been a patient person; yet all the lessons I have learned spanning across my years have helped me find that mindset. Patience is imperative in these processes–these processes of life and sweets. Patience does not yield perfection, but it does help build pride when presenting your work to the people you respect and care for.
It is such a wonderful thing to wake up and truly mean it when you say to yourself that you are happy to be who you are. That feeling doesn’t come easy to a lot of us, and just like a gorgeous cheesecake, it’ll require a lot of worthwhile work.
Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you all soon! ❤