~Why People Drift Apart~

~here’s an essay that I wrote for my literature class~

Having the reason to why psychological, unquantifiable events happen in the world often causes more harm than good. Finding out why a child was murdered, why a terrorist attack was committed, why a well-off man killed himself: sometimes the answers to these morbid sort of questions cannot be explained in a way deemed suitable or satisfactory by us. To an even greater extent, events directly (and negatively) impacting us spur emotions we cannot begin to comprehend. Instead of using reasoning, we are left with a gaping, gray hole of confused numbness, furthering our anxieties and pondering our inadequacies when someone we once loved becomes only a stranger.

This phenomenon occurs in nearly every individual’s lives, and has yet to be explained in full. Sometimes it is matter of convenience. For example, if a friend had once lived near you and then moves away, it is probable to assume that you two will no longer be as close. Or perhaps, your friend joins an extracurricular that you are not apart of, and they being to make stronger connections with other people. Geographical locations and environments can completely change the very basis of a friendship; maybe the answer as to why people part ways can be explained as easily as that.

However, there is belief that most of our relationships are doomed to end. Our lives are too unpredictable to keep our friends as constants. According to one article, “Friends may drift apart because their lives suddenly change… or when they not longer share the same things in common” (Liveabout.com). We evolve with our circumstances–like marrying and having a child–but many people are unable to do the same. Friendships cannot be taken for granted; likewise, there must be no expectations that these relationships to be upheld forever. There may even be a beneficial purpose to lose a friend during these times of change. One source states, “[Overcoming challenges] is why some people are in your life for a very short time and others for longer. If you no longer need certain people in your life for you to evolve then they will drift out of your life” (Infinite Soul Blueprint). People serve a role in our lives that betters us, that makes us grow. It is one of the best forms of learning from our experiences, no matter how painful it is to let them go.  

There may even be spiritual explanations as to why people no longer connect. Karma and “soul contracts” are odd, yet plausible causes. One form, called the Law of Attraction “attracts people to us that are on a similar vibration… the Law of Attraction will cause these people to drift apart from each other” (Infinite Soul Blueprint). Using vibrations, souls, and past lives as a way to justify a person’s failure to keep in contact with another is ludicrous, which makes it the absolute pinnacle of perfect answers. Trying to find scientific, purely logical explanations to something as erratic and unpredictable as a person leaving your life is probably not in your best interest. Some things are better left unsaid, or rather illogically justified.

Seeing a friend walking down the halls and not even exchanging a smile could complicate a relationship on either side. A simple miscommunication, a bit of tension, a couple weeks of silence, and just like that, a strong bond between two people can be eradicated without one single, comprehensible solution. Drifting apart is painful, but natural; sometimes it may be necessary. People change, and so do their relationships with others. Maybe that is all the reason there needs to be.    


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