written 9/16/21 “How much control do I have over myself? Am I kidding myself when I say I can control how I’m feeling, what I’m doing, what I am? I hope it’s just a case of overthinking. I don’t want to turn into something I fear.” ~Sammicakes
Tag: depression
The Disgusting Result and Consequence of Low Standards and Horrific Representations of Love
complimentary piece: coppice Of all the love I have seen in this world, the man I see has been deprived of it in its entirety, devoid of its presence, denouncing proudly of its futility. Misanthropic would be generous to describe it, as I had one thought to say to him. but thought better of it:…
struggles for the black bird
turn your head to the left a little further than you normally would. see the black bird perched on your shoulder with bleak black eyes strung in its head like beads. love and care for that bird, but do not remove him from your shoulders. cry at night, or in the day if you can’t…
Clockwork Reversed | Poem
To fall to falter To stir to stop A drop of poison to reverse the clock To trip to tremble To pause from pain 5 more drops till you feel something again — I wonder if there is meaning in getting better. I wonder if my memory matters. Is my brain needed in all the…
flicker out | poem
what a short, miserable life you have lived born in a tree and dead in the styx marshes of despair and pity and pain all of your own accord, nothing more to sustain irreproachable on paper, but ultimately flawed in practice and design hanging from street lamps as if you’re alive what a short, miserable…
The Sad Man’s Rambles | Of Christmas and Stuff
Of Christmas and Stuff The man knew a few things for certain. He was no Scrooge. He was no Grinch. But he sure as heaven knew that he was no Santa. He didn’t mind the fact that at the tender age of four his parents had told him that Santa was a nonexistent being, one…
One Last Next Thing | Poem
I never will because there is always more. Always one more thing I must acquire another feeling I need to chase. Nothing is getting better inside of me. (I won’t lie.) But that doesn’t matter. I live for the one next thing the next thing on my list. I can’t do it until it is…
Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar
An alternate ending to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, my favorite book that I’ve read in high school. I would highly recommend it if you like introspective, sad stories. This is an old assignment I did two years ago that I found recently. Enjoy! ~ There was a tangible silence. Elbows propped up over…
Ismus and the Deity of Death
A story of a demon and a cursed mortal. If nothing matters, then fall. I know you’ll just save me. I won’t. I’ve already tried a dozen times now. You won’t let me die. Would you like to gamble your life one last time? You won’t let me die. Then fall, Ismus. Somewhat intrigued? Check…
hotel it do be make you happy
last night’s nightmare. I didn’t know we were going to a hotel until I opened my eyes one morning and found myself in one. I asked my parents where we were, and they responded with tight, wide smiles that made their cheeks touch their ears. This was a bad answer to me, so I turned…
Sammicakes 